How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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