i can't believe i had my finger in that
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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