also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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