The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?