it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.