you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
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She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
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Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Fuck me I smell like cheese