Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.