Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
