when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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