So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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