Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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