so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
