WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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