It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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