I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
