We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
