I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
