She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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