he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
