Do you still have your period?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
