So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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