How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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