Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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