Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I am one with the molecules
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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