I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize