This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
