i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
