The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
