She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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