check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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