i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
