She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
