She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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