your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
