The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
