roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
