Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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