is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
