the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
im holly from the hills drunk
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
