So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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