Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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