every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
