nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Your tits are I can't wait for
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
