Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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