They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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