Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
