He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
