I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
