How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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