I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
