his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Bring me that man meat
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
