wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
