i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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