I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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