I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
