She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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