hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
