1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
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