That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I could make wine with my vomit
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
