We won't sleep together?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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