Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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