I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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