He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
